*~semi-psychological journal ahead~*
Things that get you down that are happening all in one day. You'd dismiss it as a "bad day", when most things that could go wrong, do. Most being feeling like everything, but if that were the case you'd actually be dead within hours, less you're not leaving the confines of your bed all day. and even then, your blanket might suffocate you. or a burglar comes in to shoot you dead. could happen. so there is always worse, and there is always a more 'wrong way' things could have turned out. so clearly, not EVERYthing went wrong today. start your jubilations there C:
But I'm getting sidetracked.
so, things that bum you out. but how does it even start? how much does it affect you at the end of the day? being bummed out, I find, is more than often, an accumulation of little things. you missed your bus this morning and you got to work/school late. in your hurry to show the teacher/boss you're not a lazy, tardy idiot you give yourself a paper cut. later, you find out you left your lunch at home. you got held back at school/work. things didn't pan out perfect today, and you're tired and just wanna get home.
then, things start bumming you out. your friend had to postpone your get together. in any normal circumstance, you shrug it off, fantastic, evening to yourself, or a different activity. on a bad day however, you feel eternally unjustly mistreated. why couldn't they say so earlier? what was so important that they had to miss out on hanging with you, obviously the best person in the world? then, on subconscious impulse, you remember all the times you've been missing out in the last 3 year period. so that really gets you down. mostly, you're angry. angry at that friend to have better things to do. so when the next person calls up to let you know, they can't make the deadline and have to put you off for weeks later, imminently cancelling most of your future plans including mundane things up to a planned holiday, you get frustrated.
twice in a row? today was a bad day, and it's only going to get worse. your mind wants to shut off and you're cranky. so today, everything that could have gone wrong, did. then the next person calls up to let you know, there's a chance, remote chance, they have to cancel on you as well.
so that third person is going to get the built up venting of a day's worth of crap. which is hardly justified in itself- any, and everyone could agree, putting it out like this clearly makes it absolutely ridiculous. so two or three things went wrong today, don't they always? today is Wednesday; the day most people find out for sure if they can make plans on the weekend or not. so it's not surprising, everyone would then know whether they can attend or not. it comes down to a matter of coincidence, but the question remains, will you let coincidence ruin your relationship with that third person?
once you think it over, nope. it's ridiculous, and why are we even considering this now? but then you can't help it; before you took a step back to analyse the situation, you would have gone off at that person, wouldn't you? maybe not yelling. maybe just hinting how disappointed you are. making them feel guilty, as if they are the only reason you are having a miserable day. all those things that stereotypically every woman does, saying one thing, meaning another. men do it too, you know.
so now, you're a fucking horrible person, right? and that's what now bumming you out. on a subconscious level, that's always been it, they cancelled, because they think less of you, you had a bad day because you deserved it. so you drown in your melancholy and self pity, even.
at that point, most people, if they even get there and don't stop at not realising how everything today was noone's fault and you shouldn't vent at your friends, they go to sleep. sleep it off, tomorrow will be brighter. in most cases that's true. but then, instead of anger at everyone else, you have that sadness about yourself starting to build up. so on one side, you could have an anger management problem, on the other, depression. it's viscous to think that way, but how many days like this can you hold till you crack? I'm sure you know the feeling, when one thing goes wrong, you remember all the other times it did as well. mostly, it's subconscious, you don't even think about it. that's what breeds both matters.
so you need to do another analysis, take a further step back, and think about what you're doing before you dismiss the problem. what is the problem? a matter of coincidences, and that's all. you have every right to feel bad about them, individually. it's only human to do so. but to put it all together in one mass is the trigger to long term problems, stress, moods etc. placing the blame. it's a human condition to blame SOMETHING, yourself, others, inanimate objects, who knows. but on occasions like these, blame it on coincidence, because that's all it's ever been.
and then, you're no longer bummed out. you can go to sleep without those dark clouds, you didn't get in a fight with your friends over nothing and tomorrow is a new, bright day, where today's mundane things won't matter.
once you see the logic behind something, there's hardly a reason to hold a grudge, right?
/end of Kitty-psychology
*daily pic will be up lators
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Mood:
Content -
Listening to: a long list of songs.
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Reading: want moar Robin Hobbs D:
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Watching: missing out on my Doctor Who D:>
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Playing: Lord of Ultima
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Eating: vitamin C tablets yum~
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Drinking: lime juuuuuice~
Sta.sh
I moved accounts for a fresh start and I was being harrassed.
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